When we lose someone or something that we love, our grief is not just about the loss. It also encompasses all of those changes we incur while enduring the grieving process. Those changes consume us. There is one less person to call upon or cook for or indulge. We no longer have the opportunity to make any new memories with them, hold their hand on a rainy day, or have them around to hold ours.
We are saddened by our loss maybe more for ourselves than for those who have passed because we are left to face the world without them as a part of our everyday experiences.
For all I have lost over the years, I have but one insight to share with you, the reader. Those we have buried are gone only in the physical sense of the word. In my heart, they continue to live, and it is the same with you.
We have to make a choice. Do we want to keep them locked in a dark, dank tomb filled with woe and angst? Or would it be better to bring them a ray of sunshine, some laughter, and some new memories to share?
Try, just once, to do something for them that they may have enjoyed with the distinct intention of pleasing their sense of adventure whether it be watching a football game or eating at their favorite restaurant, planting a flower bed or reading a book they may have enjoyed, or just sit and stare at a full moon because they would have pointed it out to you if they were still alive.
The reward for you is that you will feel closer to them; the reward for them is that you have given them a chance to once again be happy.