For both the birth mother and the family adopting, the steps to take in how to go about adopting can be unclear. Adoption can be a tricky process to go through and there are many steps to consider and take when someone is planning to make this decision. One of the first steps to take in this process is deciding what kind of adoption is wanted. There are several different options some of them are: Open adoptions, semi-open adoptions, and private adoptions. Each one has pros and cons, and each one must be approached with sensitivity and care.
OPEN ADOPTIONS
This form of adoption is when the birth mother or family is allowed the privilege of creating a one-on-one relationship with their child. This setup is similar in many aspects to a family who is separated or divorced and the children live with one parent while the other is still allowed the freedom to come and visit the child whenever they like. They can take the child on outings and celebrate birthdays, graduations, and weddings with the rest of the family. While this form of adoption definitely has its pros, it has some cons as well. While it is nice for the mother and child to form a real relationship, it may be difficult for adoptive mothers to feel that they fully fulfill that role in the child’s life. It may also be frustrating for a young child to discern the distinction between two mothers and create frustration when a relationship with their birthmother is possible and yet the responsibility of care is left to someone else.
SEMI-OPEN ADOPTIONS
Semi-open adoptions are when the mother is allowed some contact and visitation rights, but they are not directly involved in the life of their child. In these cases sometimes parents will send photos to the birthmother and keep her in the loop of how her child is developing without allowing contact between the two. For those who find that full openness is too painful or difficult, but still want their child to be a part of their life, this can be a good alternative. Closed adoptions exist as well, and as the name implies this is when neither party wants to remain in contact and the birthparents are cut out of the loop. It is likely that children will at some point feel a desire to know who their parents are, if this form of adoption is chosen. There are several other options to consider as well. One of these is private adoption.
PRIVATE ADOPTIONS
Private adoptions are when the adoptive parents seek out the birthmother or vice versa, without the help of an agency. These are usually done between close friends or family members and the process of adopting is different from that of agency adoptions. With private adoptions the choices of openness still remain and should be discussed.