by Marianne P. LiBretto, L.M.H.C.
The month of June unfolds a favorite season for many - Summer! This wonderful season reflects the start of lots of days full of sunshine, barbeques, trips to the beach and many great celebrations. Father’s Day ushers in a multitude of other celebrations from college graduations, engagement parties, weddings, etc… With every invitation that arrives in the mail, emotions burst out of us that can often be at opposite ends of the spectrum. Feelings of happiness, gratitude, honor, pride, surprise, joy can be mixed with feelings of stress, anxiety, and even anger when we realize that we will be attending events with a few of the people who usually surround us with bad energy as extended family members converge.
What is our emotional intelligence barometer telling us right now? A mind shift towards reflecting on what is really important at this moment can help to bolster our fortitude and help us deal with old hurts and resentments, negative emotions that we just don’t want to show during a celebration. Adopting a deliberate plan of practicing positive affirmations can help to alleviate the stressful feelings that crop up during the weeks leading up to the event. It also helps to formulate a picture in your mind of the person attending the party who makes you feel uncomfortable as they were during happier times, a memory perhaps of the two of you playing as children. Adopting a plan to practice daily stress-management meditation can be highly effective, particularly to quiet the mind, focus on relaxed breathing, and dampen negative emotions. Realize you can have a self-nurturance toolbox to keep you balanced and self-regulated. You are certainly empowered - in control of every emotion and action.
When we stop to realize that every negative emotion is taking away seconds, minutes, and hours of being joyful in the moment, then can we first begin to savor every moment of each event and let positive emotions emerge. Imprint the good memories of that event into your mind - how you felt celebrating Father’s Day when you were a child. The anticipation of the gifts bestowed on him and his expression of surprise as he opened them. Now years later, watching your father thank his grandchildren for coming to visit him on Father’s Day is a scenario that you can play over and over in your mind to elicit your own happy feelings. You will be rewarded with priceless memories that can never fade.
• Marianne LiBretto, L.H.M.C., president of BioLogical Wellness, is a NYS licensed psychotherapist and emotional intelligence success coach and board member for Long Island Women’s Agenda. 516- 997-5852