Self-love forms the foundation of your single, most important relationship - that with yourself. The strength of all your other relationships is exactly equal to the strength of that foundation. To love yourself is not just a self-esteem boosting piece of advice. It is the prerequisite to truly loving others. The Golden Rule tells us to “love your neighbor as you love yourself”. You are likely to have heard it many times, expressed in different ways, thinking it is about loving others. Look a little closer though, and you will find that at its very center is the command to love yourself.
First, let’s dispel some myths about what it means to love yourself. Self-love is not about being arrogant or egotistical. It is not about comparing yourself to others to determine if you are good enough. It is not about always putting yourself first at the expense of others. It is not about always getting your way. It is not about always winning. It is not about “only looking after number one”. Comparing yourself to others can be the most self-limiting and pointless thing you can do. Comparing yourself is the main source of your biggest insecurities and prevents the kind of self-worth and self-esteem that is at the back of all real success. That dreaded feeling of “not being good enough” has its roots in comparing yourself and stands in the way of your success from the outset. Even if you manage to achieve outwardly success, in spite of comparing yourself, it can never be accompanied by the inner peace that comes with an unshakeable sense of self, free of any need for comparison.
Loving yourself is a win-win for all. It provides you with an inner happiness, confidence and peace of mind that is not easily swayed by outside events and opinions. It enables you to make healthier choices and the best decisions across all areas of your life from your intimate relationships to your finances. It allows you to truly rejoice in other people’s good fortune rather than wondering “why not me” or even resenting it. It enables you to be more genuinely loving towards others and to be of greater service to the world at large. Ultimately, the more you love yourself, the more everything and everyone you encounter benefits.
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” Siddhartha Gautama Buddha
• Paula Klee Parish - Social & Community Psychology and Master Life Coach – President of Performance Solutions, Inc. – performancesolutions.biz - Founder Women on the Move – womenonthemoveli.com – Author of: The Journey to Be Your Own Best Friend: How to Discover Your Power Within - email Paula at: paula@paulakleeparish.com